Pointing North
by yuugiri
Summary: She was lost in a maze of her own non-expectations, and he was more than determined to help her find her way out despite his poor, poor sense of direction. And it was then did he finally realize that the very fine line separating the smart people from the idiots just gets thinner every time she was around, and he would question himself about which side of that line did he belong to
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **__My very first TNKK fanfic. And no, it's not a HaruShizuku, so if you don't like Yamaken, this is probably not for you. So shoo. Away. Away with you Yamaken haters. _

_Anyway, this is a continuation fic that completely ignores the epilogue Robico-sensei put in the last chapter of the manga. If you haven't read it yet, then there will be spoilers. A lot of spoilers. So you can turn back now if you want to. Those who have just watched the anime and not read the manga, then there are chances you might not know some of the characters that were not given screen time in the measly 13-spisode anime that should have been much, much longer, like for example Yamaken's little sister, Iyo._

_That said, read on. Don't say I didn't warn you about the spoilers. XD _

* * *

**I**

* * *

Yamaguchi Kenji had his whole life planned ahead of him, and he knew that he couldn't be any more content than he already was. After graduating from Kaimei, while everyone else was worrying if they were going to be able to keep up at college, or if they would be able to land themselves a fairly good-paying job after high school, he, on the other hand, knew how his future was going to pan out: get a four-year preclinical education, two-year clinical education, do a bit of 'internship' which he was planning to do in his family's hospital, succeed his father and live the life he knew he deserved.

At twenty, he was already trying to gather as much experience as he could in Internal Medicine while taking up his college education at Yokohama City University. He was already on his second year, and he would spend most of his out-of-school time in their hospital's private library where his father stored almost all of his reference materials back when he was still studying, and Kenji was benefiting quite a lot from his father's diligence at note-taking.

Well, not that he really _needed_ it; Kenji knew that he was very much capable of doing great things even on his own. Because he was just awesome that way.

And that was why he was asking himself why someone as great as _he_ needed to deal with petty little boys like the one standing in front of him right now.

Kenji was sitting behind one of the larger desks inside his father's library, finishing up a report on virology and drinking a coffee when the boy came, escorted by one of their nurses.

"He was looking for you," the nurse had said, and with a flirty wave, she had disappeared out the door, leaving Kenji with none other than…

"Hi. You may not remember me, but I'm Shizuku's younger brother. My name is Mizutani Takaya. Good afternoon," said the boy as he stood rod straight by the book case where Kenji had all his encyclopedias stored.

Ah, of course. _Takaya_. Even if he hadn't introduced himself, Kenji still would have known him; he was a spitting image of his sister. Those dead-pan eyes. The cool, uncaring gaze. The never-changing placid expression. In fact, the boy looked so much like Mizutani Shizuku that Kenji could not help but take a deep breath and run a hand through his blond hair as an excuse to break eye contact. He pushed back the swivel chair and made an effort to concentrate on the uninteresting lace curtain hanging on his window.

"I remember you. What can I do for you?" Kenji asked, because he knew his manners, and having the younger brother of probably the only woman who had rejected him in his twenty years of living being here in his personal space was not a good enough excuse to forget them.

"I need you to give me a discount on my CT scan bill," said Mizutani Takaya in that bland voice of his.

For a moment, Kenji tried to process what the boy had just said to him. He blinked, looked over his shoulder and frowned. "Excuse me?"

Now that he had finally turned to give the boy a nasty look, it was then did he realize Mizutani Takaya had a very hard-to-miss bandage wrapped around his head. And he was wearing a familiar soccer uniform. Shouyou High. So the boy took after his sister. For some unexplainable reason, Kenji found that really annoying.

"I need a discount. On my CT scan, Yamaken-kun," the boy repeated.

Kenji could only wince at the little nickname he had back in high school, and how the boy used it so familiarly. "Don't call me that. And why on earth did you have a CT scan?" he asked, convincing himself that he was not really worried or anything, but was simply curious. Yeah, that sounded just about right.

Takaya blinked, thought for a moment, then said, "We were fooling around at soccer practice. That's all I can tell you, otherwise Yusuke will get in trouble."

Kenji couldn't give a care who Yusuke was, and whether or not he would get in trouble. He plucked the reading glasses perched on his nose and gently placed it on the book laid in front of him. He rubbed the spot between his eyes tiredly. "Listen, Takaya-kun. This is a hospital. It isn't a supermarket, or a convenience store, or Mister Donut. We don't give discounts for medical services."

Takaya blinked again, the placid expression on his face unchanging. "But… this is _your _hospital, right?"

As if _that_ made the difference.

Kenji raised his eyes back at the boy. Takaya was watching him back, those dull eyes, so very familiar to Kenji. He couldn't get over the fact how similar this boy was with _her_. The resemblance of the stern, almost frightening love of cheap things and discounts was uncanny. Genes were definitely a scary thing. "We don't give discounts. Sorry."

This time, Kenji finally extracted a reaction from the boy. He frowned. "That's a shame. I don't have enough money to pay for it." He pulled out a slightly crumpled piece of paper which Kenji recognized as the bill. "I don't have five thousand and fifty yen."

Kenji raised an eyebrow at him. Unbelievable. He reached for his mobile phone in his breast pocket. "I'll call your father. We can arrange for him to pick you up and settle your bill."

"Dad's not home," said Takaya, almost uncaringly.

Kenji found that hard to believe. Back in high school, every time he had called Mizutani Shizuku, it had always been her father who answered the god-forsaken phone. He sighed. "Look, you don't have to pay for everything right now. How much do you have?"

Takaya started fishing inside his pockets for something. Kenji could make out several loose change, a candy wrapper, and a bit of lint. "I have a hundred and fifty on me."

Kenji felt an angry vein throb on his temple. What were parents doing to their children these days? Don't they even give allowances? He took a deep breath, rationalizing with himself that not all parents were rich doctors who owned their own hospitals. He slipped his glasses back on, pushed himself to a standing position and made to walk towards the door. "We can put that as an initial payment, and you can come back tomorrow to pay for the rest. Would that satisfy you?"

Takaya looked like he was thinking things through. After a while, he nodded. "Okay."

Kenji looked down at the boy as he flicked the lint off his palm and stuffed the candy wrapper back in his pocket. What a waste of precious study time for him, having to deal with matters of little consequence. He motioned for Takaya to follow. "Come on then. Let's get this over with." He reached for the knob, opened the door.

And felt the world tilt several degrees to the left when he saw Mizutani Shizuku standing at the other side.

She hadn't changed much over the past two years he had not seen her when she left Yokohama right after graduation to study Pre-Law in Todai, where her mother attended University. Of course, this had been hand-me-down information from his sister, who for some reason seemed to have taken a liking to the Study Bug. He had tried to feign nonchalance after her departure, but it had taken him approximately seven days and five hours before he finally gave up on the idea of calling her to ask how she was doing. Not that he had any ulterior motive or anything creepy like that – they were _friends_, after all – but still, something about initiating a call made him uneasy.

It wasn't as if she had moved out of the Kanto region, and he had heard from Iyo several times that Mizutani-san came home during weekends, sometimes visiting the old High School to pay her respects to some professor whose name Kenji could not remember. He had pretended not to care, but he had found himself wondering several times if she would open her door to him if he ever decided to drop by and visit her.

Of course, he never did.

He doubted he would have, even if he remembered how to get to her house…

It was strange. He knew for a fact that he had never really thought her to be exceptionally pretty, but for some weird reason, with her standing right in front of him, wearing one of those really unfashionable ensembles she'd always favored back in high school, he could not help but swallow hard and listen to his heartbeat quickening against his ribcage. She seemed to have grown out of her pigtails, her chestnut-brown hair hanging long over her shoulders.

His reaction at seeing her surprised him extremely; he had always taken pride on how he handled himself when it came to women. It was only _she _who had always had this effect on him ever since.

Which was kind of a hassle, since he knew she belonged to someone else.

"Oh, Yamaken-kun. It's been a while," she said in that neutral voice of hers. She always seemed to sound uninterested every time she talked, and most of her emotion showed verbally only when they talked about Yoshida Haru.

Kenji shook himself. No, he was _not _going to talk about Yoshida Haru with her. "You look well, Mizutani-san," he said politely. "I'm surprised you're here on a Wednesday. I always assumed you valued your studies too much to miss a school day."

Mizutani-san's big, brown, almost bored gaze met his, and Kenji couldn't help but notice the dark gashes under her eyes. It looked like she hadn't been getting enough sleep lately, and it did not suit her. She was wearing a fairly thick jacket and a muffler was wrapped around her neck although it was only October, but even with those layers on, Kenji could tell from her face that she had lost a bit of weight. And to think she had always been thin.

"Shizuku," Takaya said, walking towards them with the bill in his hand. He handed the paper to his sister. "I didn't think you'd get my text. You always turn your phone off during train rides."

Mizutani-san's eyes left Kenji's face and instead focused on her little brother. They were almost as tall as each other. No, Takaya could be taller. For a second, a frown tugged at her lips when she saw the cast on his head. The frown was gone the moment she snatched the bill from his hand. "You had to pick today, of all days, to get hurt, Takaya."

Kenji could only watch things unfold before him, unsure of what was really going on. So, Takaya had mailed his sister that he was in the hospital? Well, the boy could have said something earlier, saving him the effort.

Mizutani-san skimmed through the bill quickly before she gingerly touched Takaya's cast. "This isn't like you. What were you thinking?"

Takaya could only look away. "I was being _'rebellious'_. That's all."

Kenji's eyebrows climbed his forehead. Mizutani-san's eyes narrowed. Rebellious, he said.

Wonderful.

Kenji crossed his arms over his chest, unsure of what to do. Given, Yamaguchi Kenji was always prepared when it came to encounters with girls, but of all the women, dealing with _her _was probably the last thing he had expected for today.

It looked like this was one of those family things. He really didn't want to get involved, as much as his heart was betraying him for doing the cha-cha at the mere sight of her for a reason he was too proud to admit to himself. He hoped to god Yoshida Haru wasn't with her. He looked over Mizutani-san's shoulder, half-expecting to see the wild boy lurking close by. He wasn't, and the slight disappointment at his absence once again surprised Kenji.

Mizutani-san's eyes swooped back over the bill. "If you're going to do an act of rebellion, at least think of how much it would cost."

Takaya had the decency to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Shizuku."

Mizutani-san sighed, and just like how she let everything slide down the surface, she gave Takaya an unreadable stare. "I doubt you thought about this by yourself. Don't let your friends influence you too much again, Takaya."

Takaya's eyes widened in surprise. "I – "

Mizutani-san crossed her arms in front of her. _"Don't let your friends influence you again," _she repeated. "Or I'll have to talk to Yusuke myself."

Kenji could only shake his head. This was something they could take care of out of his office, surely?

Mizutani-san waved the bill in front of her brother's face. "I'll settle this myself. You go back to school now. And make sure you apologize to your teacher for missing your class."

Takaya looked like he was going to protest, but nodded instead. "All right. I'm really sorry, Shizuku."

Mizutani-san was not moved. "Have you apologized to Yamaken-kun for your trouble?"

Takaya turned to Kenji.

Kenji took an involuntary step back. "No, It was nothing," he said before the boy could say anything. "More importantly, is your head all right?" Given, their hospital wouldn't release him if he weren't, but asking about a patient had become second nature to him.

"His head is as hard as a rock. You don't need to worry," Mizutani-san said flatly, but Kenji did not miss the lingering look she had on her brother's bandaged head. She was obviously worried. "Besides, Yusuke's with you, right? I saw him in the lobby. He was harassing several nurses, asking them to take his blood pressure."

For some weird reason, that made Takaya grin. "I'll go make him stop."

"You do just that," Mizutani-san muttered, and she and Kenji watched as Takaya hurried out the room, leaving the two of them staring after him in silence.

The moment Takaya disappeared around the corner, Mizutani-san took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I'm really sorry about this. I saw Takaya's text when I got off the train, and hurried here as soon as I could."

Kenji could only stare down at her, once again wondering what she was doing here on a weekday. Given, it had been two years since he had last seen her, and two years was enough time for a person to change, but he doubted she had lost her passion when it came to studying. Or maybe it was just him not being able to let go of who she was when he had found out he 'sort of' liked her.

Yoshida Haru had been the main catalyst of their meeting. He had wondered about her, about how such a plain-looking, uncaring girl could make the embodiment of difficult into something… _less difficult_.

It had been nothing but plain curiosity. How in the world did he end up liking her again?

How many times had he tried to lower himself to her level? He had tried many different approaches to woo her: Treat her to meals, share her hobbies, lend her an ear, give her advice. Most approaches he knew would work on any other girl.

Except for her.

In the end, she had chosen Haru over him. Then again, Haru had always been one step ahead of him at everything. It was frustrating, really. Kenji could never win against him. Haru had left a year ahead of his batch to follow a path he thought would be better for him. He had enough credits, so much so he didn't even need to attend his third year. He came back a year later for graduation.

And everyone went their own separate ways after that.

Kenji had once again lowered himself to settle at being Mizutani-san's friend. This was too new for him, because Yamaguchi Kenji almost always had what he wanted and never settled for anything less.

Again, how could she be such an exception in his life?

And after two years, she'd waltzed back into his hospital, looking so very fine to him in an out-of-fashion pink jacket and acting like little brothers asking for hospital service discounts was a normal thing.

Kenji tried to find something to say. At the back of his mind, there was a lingering question. Actually, _several _questions.

"_How's College?"_

"_So how's Haru?"_

"_Have you chosen what Law School you're going to after graduating?"_

"_How are you and Haru?"_

"_Any firms you've set your eyes on?"_

"_Everything going great with your boyfriend, Haru?"_

Kenji could easily have clobbered himself had he been sure he wouldn't look like a completely insane person if he did so. He cleared his throat. "How old is Takaya now?"

Mizutani-san blinked, obviously caught off-guard by the question. "Sixteen. He's just started High school."

"He's grown."

"Ah, he's had that growth spurt in his second year of middle school. Puberty hadn't been nice to him then, but he's always played soccer so I guess that helped fill him out," she said, and she began fiddling with a loose thread on her sleeve.

Kenji suddenly realized they were standing right by the open door of the library, and he gestured with a hand inside, hoping to look like it wasn't a big deal. "You look tired. You should sit down. We have coffee."

And typical her, she instantly shot his invitation down. "I'd love to, but I'm in a hurry." She punctuated the sentence with a quick glance at her wrist watch. "I have to drop my things off at home and then go to the public library to borrow a few materials for a paper due."

There was just no helping him. He knew he should just drop it, get back on his own business.

Two years. So maybe two years wasn't enough for a person to change.

"Let me take you home, then," he blurted out without thinking.

Mizutani-san looked up from her watch and straight at him, eyes blank. "Take me home with _what?"_

She was doubting him. He had a feeling what was causing her doubts.

"I have a car. It's parked right outside."

She narrowed her eyes at him as she lowered her arm to her side. "I plan to get home as quick as I can. Preferably some time _today_."

Now she was making fun of him. Damn her.

"I have GPS," he said flatly, although he did not understand why he had to justify this to her. His statement did wonders to her, though.

She rubbed her chin between her thumb and forefinger, a gesture she only used when she was deep in thought, then nodded after a while. "Well, I do have a lot of baggage with me, and taking a taxi is expensive…" She nodded again. "I'll take the offer." Then, for a brief second, she looked over to his desk, frowned. "If I'm not bothering you, that is."

Kenji followed her gaze. The book about internal medicine was left forgotten, his notebook and pen marking the page where he had left off. He had his own paper to finish, and it was due tomorrow. "No, it's no bother," he lied.

She believed him, as she was always so openly trusting of him since high school. He had always found this trait of hers flattering and at the same time disturbing; she had never minded his arm around her when he tried to save her from bumping into other people in the streets because she wasn't paying attention. It had never bothered her to sit so close to him in cram school, or be alone with him in between claustrophobic library bookshelves. Now it was either she had always thought him to be a swell guy, or she had never really thought of him as a _guy_.

He had been sure he'd made it clear to her when he confessed his feelings to her. A part of him was almost positive she would have said yes. They had so many things in common, and he knew that he could take care of her better than the competition. He had been so _sure _of it. Though he wondered why he was thinking these things all of a sudden when he knew had already lost, and that he had made a compromise with her about staying friends.

He tried to push away the thoughts as he wrestled her traveling bag into the trunk of his Toyota Crown. She had not been kidding when she said she had a lot of baggage. A total of three, actually. A rolling bag that could easily be twenty kilos heavy, a duffel bag that could have been filled with rocks, and –

"Jesus, what the heck is in _that?"_ Kenji couldn't help himself when Mizutani-san hoisted a cardboard box with holes in its side into her arms and something in it started clucking like crazy.

Mizutani-san lowered the box into the back seat, making sure to fasten the seatbelt around it. "Nagoya," she said simply.

Kenji stared at her for a brief moment before asking, _"What?"_

"You probably don't remember him," she said simply, but did not elaborate.

Kenji did not follow up the conversation, because contrary to what she believed, he _did_ remember who Nagoya was, and if he ever did decide to continue the conversation, they were going to end up venturing into a topic he wanted to avoid as much as possible. He wondered why she had the rooster with her. He knew that she had never been fond of pets, and that Nagoya was Haru's pet to begin with. But then again, Haru and Mizutani-san had always been too odd a couple for normal human beings like Kenji to even being understanding. He was not about to start now.

He opened the passenger door for her. "Your house? Or do you want to stop by the library first?"

Mizutani-san slipped on the passenger seat and Kenji closed the door for her as she was buckling her seatbelt. He took his time in rounding the car and settle behind the wheel, hoping that would be enough for her to decide their destination. The last thing he wanted was have her change her mind after he'd already set his car navigation…

"If you can drop me at my house, I can go to the library by myself," she said as she started pulling a textbook from under her seat she had sat on. It was another of his reference books for his virology paper.

Kenji could only wince at the indifference in her voice, although he already knew that she had always been indifferent about many things. He leaned back on his seat. "We haven't seen each other since we graduated. The least you can do is act like you're interested in how I've been doing."

Mizutani-san raised her eyebrows at him for the briefest of moments before looking back down on the textbook she had in her hand. "I don't need to ask how you've been doing, Yamaken-kun."

Little ice bitch.

"And why is that?"

She smiled one of those reserved smiles of hers, eyes still on the cover of that textbook. "Because you've always done wonderfully well when it came to everything."

And that was probably the first time in two years did Kenji feel his heart once again skip a beat.

Kenji had never been hungry for compliments, because he knew that he didn't need other people to define what he had always thought of himself – completely fantastic – but for some reason, he had always been greatly affected by what she thought of him.

So maybe – which was a big, big, _big _maybe – he really did still like her.

Maybe.

Kenji ran a hand through his hair. No. This was not something he should be thinking about. He knew better than to go mooning over someone else's girlfriend, especially if that someone is Yoshida Haru's girlfriend.

He revved the engine and pulled out of the hospital parking lot turning a left on the first stoplight.

Mizutani-san flipped through the textbook lightly. "You're exactly the same, aren't you, Yamaken-kun? You know where you're going, though most of the time you get lost along the way. But you know what you have to do, and make sure you get there, no matter how long it takes."

Kenji glanced at her briefly before returning his eyes on the road, unsure if she was complimenting him. "You're being funny. You usually never talk like this. Did Pre-Law do this to you?"

She kept on flipping through the pages of the book. "Pre-Law? Maybe. I don't really know."

Kenji let out a hollow laugh as he stopped at a red light. He watched her at the corner of his eye, wondering what she was trying to look for in that boring textbook. "You _not knowing_ something is strange. You've always struck me as someone who'd know everything because you don't want anyone to beat you academically."

She chose not to respond to his statement, and he welcomed her silence about the topic. He tapped his fingers on the wheel noisily, glanced at the car navigation and watching the little blue dot that represented where they were at the moment. He needed to turn left at the bookstore, then that would take them all the way to the cram school they used to go together. It was funny. He never was gifted with a sense of direction (something he wasn't willing to admit out loud) but it had always been easier to remember places he could link with anything that concerned her. The cram school. The library. The little donut shop downtown. The bus stop right outside Shouyou High.

"Is Takaya going to be all right?" she suddenly asked him.

The light turned green and he moved forward. "What do you mean?"

"His head. He had that nasty cast."

Kenji frowned. "The hospital wouldn't release him if he wouldn't be. I wasn't able to see the results of his CT scan, but I thought everything was all right."

"Hm," she mused as she lowered the textbook onto her lap and looked out the window.

He sighed as he turned at the bookstore. "You could have asked him yourself earlier."

She looked over at him. "Takaya lies to me about those things. He could be sick with a fever and still say he's all right."

"He seems like an honest enough boy to me."

"He doesn't want me to worry."

Kenji stopped at another red. "Are you worried?" he asked her.

She was silent for a few seconds. She nodded. "I'm always worried about him. It takes almost an hour to get here from Tokyo, and he never calls me unless I know it's an emergency." For a moment, she looked like she was thinking and she opened her mouth as if to say something, but she decided against it. She returned her eyes on the textbook on her lap.

Kenji was a bit confused. She was being different. In the span of the three years he had known her from high school, he had seen the transition she had undergone from cold-as-ice to not-so-cold-as-ice, and he couldn't help but wonder why it felt as if she had taken a few steps backward. She felt distant. Well, given they weren't exactly that buddy-buddy to begin with and two years in a different city may have something to do with it, but he still couldn't explain the nagging feeling that there was something bothering her.

He could hear clucking from the backseat, and he glanced at the rearview mirror to see the rooster poking its head out of its box. The light turned green and he moved forward again. "What does he eat?" he asked, annoyed that it was he who had to think about small talk.

"Huh?" she asked.

"The chicken. Nagoya. What does he eat?"

"Cabbages. And there was this one time when Natsume-san thought it funny to feed it chicken wings."

Kenji could not help but grimace. It was very much like the idiot girl to feed a chicken some chicken. "That's all sorts of wrong. In so many different levels."

She nodded in agreement, laughing that very quiet laugh of hers she reserved only on occasions when she genuinely thought it was funny. "It's Natsume-san after all."

Kenji could kick himself for letting the direction of the conversation take a life of its own. "How is she?"

"I met with her last weekend. She's a programmer now at a company making those online games and blogs and whatnot. It's in Kawasaki, so we meet when she gets off work early."

This was unmistakably very hard to believe. He had always thought the girl to be a complete and utter airhead that had no redeeming quality whatsoever except for her more-than-above-average good looks. She should have just been a model. She would have done a great job at it. "Ho, is that right?" he commented, trying to sound uninterested.

Mizutani-san pressed her face against the window suddenly. "It's our cram school."

Kenji felt a very unfamiliar stomach lurch at the way she referred to the cram school as 'our cram school', as if it were something that really belonged to the both of them. This was not a good thing. She always had the talent to make suggestive statements without really meaning anything. Or maybe he had the strange habit of reading too much into her suggestive statements even when he knew perfectly well that she really meant nothing. He cleared his throat. "It had been a long, long winter."

She relaxed back on her seat, then muttered, "This year's winter is going to be long, too."

Kenji knew she hated the cold. Come to think of it, he knew a lot about her too much. Trivial facts about her that he knew he didn't need to know but knew anyway. "So," he started, about to add more trivial facts about her that he didn't need to know anyway. "What brings you back home to Yokohama when I know you're trying to pave your way into being a lawyer?"

Her fingers were once again busy with the pages of the book. "I dropped out of Todai."

Kenji's foot was instantly stomping on the breaks out of reflex. Car horns sounded from behind them and a car with an angry driver passed, shaking a fist at them and saying something rude. Kenji could care any less. He pulled at the curb and put the car on park. He turned to her, eyes wide in disbelief. "You _what?"_

She was calmly reading a page on the textbooks that had something to do with RNA viruses. "I dropped out of Todai," she repeated calmly.

No. No, no that can't be right. She had tried so hard to get into that University. They had celebrated with friends when they found out she had passed the entrance exams. She had lived her high school life as a study bug just to become a lawyer like her mother. And now _this?_

"What are you talking about? You're on your second year through Pre-Law. The second semester should have started a week ago," he pointed out, although knowing that she knew that too, only all too well.

She snapped the book shut on her lap, looked out of window to avoid his gaze. "I need to submit a paper to complete the units left on my first semester's Studies on National Security units."

Kenji could not see the connection between Studies on National Security and her dropping out. He cursed under his breath although half unsure of why this sudden news bothered him this much. He leaned an elbow on the wheel and grabbed at a chunk of his hair in frustration. "What happened?"

And suddenly, it was as if the invisible barrier she had around her disappeared and her shoulders shook a bit. For a moment he thought she was about to cry, and he could vaguely remember the time when he had once thought she was crying and embraced her out of instinct. She had not been crying then, of course. She was not about to cry right now.

She chose that moment to meet his gaze. Her eyes were large, glassy and unblinking. "My parents got divorced. Yesterday, actually. Takaya needs me here. My father probably needs me more."

The world was spinning around Kenji. No, it was not the divorce that was making him dizzy; divorces were common in Japan. It was the way she was handling the divorce that was making everything slightly contorted around him. Kenji didn't really know what she was feeling. His family had always been perfect – with a few exceptions of Iyo's crazy antics from time to time – and his mother and father had always been on good terms. But he had the feeling that people shouldn't be taking a separation this calmly. It would have been easier for him to react if she showed at least _one _sign of emotion. Was she sad that this happened? Was she happy? That was the problem. She was… _emotionless. _

Dry.

As ice.

_Dry Ice?_

"Are you okay?" he asked uncertainly, thinking that at least that question was the proper thing to ask.

She shrugged, lowered her gaze down to the dashboard. "I'm actually more surprised it lasted this long. My mother had always complained about my father's work preferences and his…" She frowned. "They had nothing in common to begin with. It was inevitable."

She was scaring him. Really. "What did Takaya say?"

That was when she let out a shaky breath. "He said he's… all right. I told you, he lies to me all the time."

And at that moment, he understood what Takaya meant when he said, 'Rebellion'. Aww, geez… He covered his mouth with a hand, looked away. "I'm sorry."

He heard her shift in her seat. "It's all right, really. I knew it would happen sooner or later."

Kenji wanted to press the issue on why she had to quit University. He wanted to ask her a lot of questions on her decisions and why she was sacrificing her life plan because her parents screwed up. But he didn't ask her. He was bred too well enough to be that tactless. He tried to compose himself, gripped the wheel with clammy hands. "Let me take you home."

"I'd appreciate that."

And they were back on the road. It was a silent ten minute drive to her house with only the chicken's clucking breaking through the tension inside the car. He didn't bother with the small talk, afraid that she might blurt out something even more uncomfortable. She sat with her hands gripping her seatbelt, the textbook forgotten on her lap. Once in a while she would sniff, and Kenji wondered if she was crying but knew that she wasn't, because she was Mizutani Shizuku.

They reached her house and he helped her out of the car, carried her belongings to the front door while she fiddled with the key. Kenji looked down at the box containing the rooster by her feet. Its head was still poking out of the opening on top of it, and it was now looking at him with its beady eyes.

He fought the urge to kick it because he didn't want to make things worse for her.

She finally succeeded in opening the door and she turned to face him. "Thank you for dropping me off. I'll be all right now."

Kenji didn't know why he was hesitating. Normally he would nod, wave at her and say, _"See you around then." _But he was fidgeting in his place, hands stuffed in his pockets awkwardly.

She watched him with those eyes again, then as if realizing something, she said, "I'm sorry you had to hear about my problems." She blinked, and Kenji noticed her cheeks coloring slightly. "You always give off that aura that makes me want to talk about things I don't normally talk about."

Kenji's knees buckled and he cursed her for being so honest when it came to her feelings. Back in high school, he had always caught himself giving her advice regarding things he didn't know he was capable of knowing, but she had said she was impressed with his advice and many times had pointed out that she had found a friend in him.

Two years. Too long.

Not too long.

He realized he had actually missed her. It was a shame they had to meet like this with issues bothering her. He helped her roll her bags into the house. "Are you back for good then?"

She nodded slightly, stuffing her keys into her purse and heaving the box containing the rooster and propping it against one hip. "Picking up the pieces is always hard to do. Paperwork is harder. The deeds for the house. Health Insurance beneficiaries. My dad's hopeless when it comes to those."

Kenji could only frown. Given her father may be hopeless, but was it enough to quit her dream because of it? He didn't have the heart to ask her. "If you need anything, call me."

Aww, geez…

That made her smile, and he instantly felt better for asking it. "Thank you. Goodbye." She turned to enter her house.

Kenji opened his mouth, reached out a hand as if to stop her. "Er – "

She stopped in her tracks, looked over her shoulder. "Hm?"

Kenji lowered his hand, stuffed it back in his pocket. He looked down at his feet. He should have just left it at the goodbye part. But he was just too stupid to realize it before it was too late. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to look nonchalant as he asked, "So how's Haru?"

Goddammit!

Mizutani-san froze in place, shifted her eyes, then, "I wouldn't know. I haven't seen him for a year."

The statement nearly had Kenji reeling, and questions kept popping up in his head filling him up close to bursting into a series of inquiries he wanted to ask.

But the barrier she had lowered earlier was instantly around her again, settling over her like an unseen aura, pushing him and everything away. The glassy look she had on her eyes was back as she reached for the door. The rooster was looking at him too, as if saying, _"You shouldn't have asked, buddy." _

"But Yamaken-kun," she said in that dead-pan voice of hers. "I don't see why that's any of your business." And she slowly, quietly, shut the door on his face.

Kenji could only stare at the hardwood. It was unlike her to be this rude, but circumstances made him feel more guilty than angry.

He returned to his car, thoughts of Haru and Mizutani-san swimming in his head. A year? She hadn't seen him for a year? This was new to him. Iyo had always been current with gossip like this, and he couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed.

He pressed in the coordinates for their hospital, thoughts about Mizutani-san and her parents and Haru and the mystery behind their relationship overwhelming him. He spent about ten minutes sitting there, sometimes looking back at Mizutani-san's door, half hoping for her to come out. She didn't, and he had no choice to but to believe what she had said to him that this was none of his concern and he pulled out of her driveway.

Besides, he was just too busy and too awesome to be bothered by someone else's love life.

That was why he wanted to ask himself what it was that made him stop the car again and started looking for a very, very nostalgic contact number in his phone directory. Sasahara-kun had stayed in Yokohama, right? Surely Iyo was up to date with _that?_


	2. Chapter 2

**II**

* * *

Back in the days, most friendships in Yamaguchi Kenji's social circle were determined by either geography, family ties or family status. In Kenji's case, it was all of the above.

All throughout his Kaimei days, he had surrounded himself with three idiots he wouldn't necessarily call _friends_, but hung out with them anyway because their stupidity amused him. Kenji had thought that after graduation he wouldn't have to immerse himself in their lame-brain antics, but found himself enjoying their company from time to time even in college.

Today, he had invited Ayanokouji Masahiro to accompany him to a baseball game. The guy had not changed in the past two years. He was still intent on having people call him _Mabo_, he was still a shorty, and he was still an idiot. But Kenji sometimes took advantage of his idiocy to draw away unwanted attention when he knew he was making a fool of himself. This was the exact reason why he asked Mabo, and not George or Tomio to accompany him to this event, because deep down, Kenji felt like he was _bound_ to make a fool of himself.

"Why the fuck do I have to miss my beauty sleep on a _Sunday_ just because you want to watch a stupid game?" Mabo complained as he adjusted the overly large sunglasses on his face. As expected, the guy always found a strange way to stand out, what with his hair out of control and everywhere, not to mention the furry white coat with the stupid wolf tail dangling from behind that he was wearing.

"Because you promised me. Now get out of the car," Kenji said, bored at his companion's complaints. He slammed the door with extra force to get Mabo moving.

"Okay, okay. Don't get your boxers in a bunch, Yamaken…" Mabo muttered as he finally dragged himself out of Kenji's car grudgingly. "Damn it, why is it so bright?"

Kenji frowned at him, for a brief second regretting that he chose this guy. Maybe George would have been a better bet? "Because it's morning. Now stop being an idiot."

"Stop calling me an idiot, you ingrate."

Kenji ignored him and locked the car before looking over his shoulder at the stadium where he could hear faint voices coming from inside. The game hadn't started yet, right? And to think he wanted to get here early. Sasahara-kun had said eight in the morning, didn't he?

"What time is it?" he asked Mabo as he started walking towards the stadium.

"Early. Too early," Mabo snapped back, following Kenji by dragging his feet on the pavement. Then, despite himself, looked down at his wrist watch and said, "Eight twenty. You came two hours too early."

"I said I'd pick you up at eight."

"Exactly. You're usually always a couple of hours late. What is it with you today that you actually came on time? You don't even like baseball."

Kenji felt himself bristle at the sudden interrogation, then tried to act too busy to answer by buttoning and unbuttoning his blazer. It was a fairly cold mid-October morning, and while he usually spent his time wallowing around in front of his computer, typing away essays and reports for his subjects, today was an exception.

Because today, Sasahara-kun was having a demonstration game with Shouyou High's baseball team, and he had been informed by Sasahara-kun himself that Mizutani-san was going to watch.

"Everyone loves baseball. Now stop raining on my parade," Kenji finally said as they pushed past the double doors leading to the stadium entrance. They were welcomed by a round of cheers coming from inside and Kenji could only frown. It seemed like there were a lot more people than he had expected there would be, considering it was just a demonstration game. Well, given they had high school kids coming to support their team… he guessed they were going to be loud.

Mabo shuddered the moment the entrance broke out into the wide, open stadium, once again making him shift his sunglasses, and Kenji knew he was wincing behind them. "Che… Who wants to watch guys hitting tiny little balls with a stick, anyway? The least we could do is – Natsume-chan!"

Kenji practically shrank into himself when he found that Natsume was, indeed, sitting on the bleachers on their direct right. And she was not alone.

It was like high school all over again, what with the quiet girl with the glasses – Ooshima, was it? – sitting right beside Natsume, both wearing their old Shouyou jerseys and wielding a pompom in each hand.

And then there was Mizutani-san, also wearing her jersey but held back on the pompoms, instead, had a warm canned drink cupped between her hands. Along with everyone else, she was looking at the screaming Natsume, who was trapped inside Mabo's death hug at the moment.

Much to Kenji's utter horror, his sister was sitting at the far end of the group, trying to look small and insignificant behind Mizutani-san. He didn't even bother to acknowledge her, and she looked relieved enough when his gaze left her.

"Yamaken-kun, good morning," Mizutani-san greeted in her usual flat, emotionless voice, temporarily setting aside her drink and moving to make room for him. It was as if their very, very awkward farewell last Wednesday had not happened at all.

"It's been a while, Yamaguchi-san," Ooshima-san said as she too slid to the side, and Kenji tried to fight down the annoyance when everyone else started to move to open up the space right beside Mizutani-san. Were they doing it on purpose? Or was it a coincidence?

He didn't dare admit to himself that he felt a bit pleased that at least he didn't have to make some strange excuse to get closer to her. He had already climbed up the bleachers to his spot when Natsume let out a strangled cry, managed to escape from Mabo's clutches, and zipped past him, immediately stealing the spot beside Mizutani-san.

Kenji paused in his tracks, stared down at the girl clinging to Mizutani-san greedily as she glared at him with her evil eyes. Natsume was probably one of the gang who had changed a lot over the two years he had fallen off their band wagon. She had cut off her hair, just a few centimeters above her shoulders, and she had lost a bit of weight. What is it with girls and their weight after high school, anyway? But she was still very pretty, Kenji noted. And still as annoying, if not more so.

Natsume had never liked him ever since then, because she had always been completely in love with the notion of Mizutani-san and Haru and Haru and Mizutani-san together. Kenji hadn't really understood what had made her so fixated on the two's relationship, but then again, Natsume had a lot of things going on with her that no normal human being would be able to understand.

Kenji sniffed indifferently, hitched the leg of his slacks and stepped up the bleachers to take a seat right behind Mizutani-san. He gave Natsume a silent victory smirk before leaning back and pretending to watch the game that had not even started before him.

Mabo made a grand gesture and took his place at Kenji's right, directly behind Natsume, where all throughout the game he would swat at Natsume's hair playfully with his fingers, or try to steal her pompom.

Kenji tried very hard not to stare too much at the top of Mizutani-san's head as she continued to obliviously sip her hot drink. He could see a thick muffler peeking from under her jersey to keep possible drafts away from her neck. Kenji could remember well that Mizutani-san never did well in the cold, and hadn't he seen her wearing ear muffs even when indoors back when they had spent a night in Mabo's ski lodge?

That night had been memorable for Kenji. She had given him her home phone number on a piece of paper, along with a schedule when she would be home. It was like someone handing a business card to a client. He had thought of her to be too formal, but then again, she had always been too formal with him back then. Her father had answered the phone many times when he had decided to call like a very, very over-protective secretary.

Kenji frowned. He wondered how her father was coping with everything. God, he wondered how _Mizutani-san _was coping with everything. It had been but half a week since she had come back home, telling him she had dropped out of Todai. Who in their right mind would drop out of Pre-Law in Todai? Getting in was too hard to begin with. There was something definitely wrong with her.

Kenji knew that thinking about it wouldn't make things better, and so avoided giving Mizutani-san unnecessary glances because Natsume had started to notice, and she made a point to give him more evil glares, once in a while sticking out her tongue before turning back to the diamond and waving her pompoms like a crazy person even when nothing exciting was happening in the field yet.

The game was between Sasahara-kun's college team against Shouyou High's. One couldn't necessarily call it a match, because everyone was just goofing around with each other, once in a while the older guys giving tips to the younger about game play and the like. He found out from Ooshima-san that they were still warming up before their mock game.

Kenji could see Sasahara Souhei in his baseball uniform, stretching with a bat in his hands. The guy may have grown a few inches, but was still relatively smaller than the rest of his team. He was laughing as one of his teammates stretching beside him said something funny. The happy, cheerful expression on his face back in high school hadn't changed.

Kenji had neither liked nor hated Sasahara-kun. People close to him had referred to him lovingly as 'Sasayan'. Kenji had never had much chance for a direct conversation with the guy because one, Sasahara-kun was always surrounded by a circle of his friends, and two, because Kenji didn't think he had anything in common with the guy, though they had hung out at the Mister Donut downtown many times before. He was that type of guy who was just everyone's best friend, and Kenji had never really cared much about best friends, though he had always thought that Sasahara-kun was probably the only normal one in Mizutani-san's group.

Mabo leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest when Natsume started ignoring him completely. "This is boring. We should have asked George and Tomio to come."

Kenji looked down at his phone before stuffing it back into his pocket. It was already eight thirty. "You three always get carried away when you're together. The last thing I want is for you to start picking fights with anyone who looked at you wrong."

"It's rude to stare. Why are people always staring at me? See those high school chicks? They're looking over here and laughing."

Kenji didn't even bother to tell him that the reason why people were always staring at him was because he had taken a liking into dressing into very flamboyant clothes and shoes. Who wore fur in mid-October, anyway? "Ignore them. They'll get tired of it soon enough."

Sasahara-kun took notice of them after that (because Natsume kept on screaming "Go, Sasayan-kun! Beat the crap out of those snot-faced runts!" while waving her pompoms madly) and jogged towards their side of the bleachers.

"Wow, you really came," Sasahara-kun said as he leaned his arms on the railing, grinning up at everyone from under his cap. His eyes met Kenji's for a brief second, and he gave him a small nod, his grin broadening into a toothy smile.

Kenji returned the nod, hoping that no one noticed it.

"This year's Shouyou team members are tall," Iyo said to Sasahara-kun as her eyes swept over the kids with much interest, leaning forward in her seat.

"Aren't you supposed to be studying for your test tomorrow?" Kenji said darkly from behind her, and she instantly shrank back, her shoulders curled inside of her, frightened.

"I… Iyo will study later. Natsume-senpai invited Iyo because Sasayan-senpai is playing," she said meekly, once again trying to sound cute by referring to herself in the third person. The way she talked would have been acceptable if she were still in middle school; the girl had started college this year. Kenji had hoped she would get out of that phase of desperately crying for attention every hour or so. Her choice of University course – Criminal Justice – was still boggling him to no end. Kenji thought no other course could have suited her less. The only thing that was contributing to his peace of mind was that Tomio was a year ahead of her in the same department, and was keeping an eye on her for him.

Sasahara-kun laughed as he looked over his shoulder at the high school team. "Yeah, they're tall. The seniors are good, but their kouhai are a different matter altogether. With the way things are going, Shouyou's baseball team will get crushed once the seniors graduate. A pity, really. I was actually hoping they'd make it to Koshien next year, too."

Kenji's eyebrows rose a fraction up his forehead. Not that he had any interest in baseball and what they were planning for next year's summer, but Mizutani-san was listening to what Sasahara-kun was saying, and she looked like she cared. And that was when Kenji remembered that Mizutani-san didn't have many friends, and Sasahara-kun was one of the few she could call her own.

Sasahara-kun turned to Mizutani-san, the bright smile he had on faltering a bit. "I don't know what to say in these kinds of occasions. I'm glad you're back, but hardly because of the circumstances behind it."

Ooshima-san bit her lip nervously, then said hesitantly, "Me, too. I'm sorry about what happened, Mizutani-san."

Mabo thought it was the smartest idea to butt in at that moment. "What? What happened?"

Natsume practically snarled at him. "Only close friends are allowed to know Mitty's personal affairs. Stop rubber-necking, Guy-Who-Isn't-Mitty's-Close-Friend."

Mabo let out a curse, baring his teeth at her.

Kenji sniffed, crossing his legs. "Her parents got a divorce," he said plainly.

Mabo's jaw dropped open. Natsume gasped in disbelief as she turned from Kenji to Mizutani-san then back again. "Mitty! You _told _him?"

Mizutani-san shrugged indifferently. "It's not a secret. Izumo's a small ward. Everyone probably knows about it by now. Not that it matters."

Sasahara-kun looked a bit bothered, which was weird because he was the one who brought up the conversation. "You sure you're okay?"

Iyo clung to Mizutani-san's arm. "If Iyo can help at anything, don't hesitate to tell Iyo, okay?"

"Stay out of this," Kenji under his breath, and Iyo shrank away in her seat.

Mizutani-san began sipping at her drink again, and as if on cue, everyone took that as the sign that the conversation was over.

Sasahara-kun rolled back his shoulders, as if trying to get back into his game mode. "Well, I'm off then." He turned to leave, then as if remembering something, he turned around again and looked directly at Natsume. "We're still on for lunch after this, right?"

Natsume, who looked like she was going to explode from blushing too much, looked at everyone as they looked back at them, then she made it a point to not look at Sasahara-kun. "I-I… I… "

Sasahara-kun laughed. "Great. Can't wait." And he jogged away leisurely, completely disregarding the fact that Natsume didn't particularly answer his question.

"The fuck? Are you and that shorty dating or something?" Mabo suddenly demanded, hovering over Natsume from behind and once again totally leaving out the fact that he, too, wasn't any taller.

This accusation launched a volley of spiteful words between Natsume and Mabo, that of which Kenji didn't even bother listening to. He was back to watching the top of Mizutani-san's head, or the mock game that had started between Sasahara-kun's team and Shouyou's.

In all honesty, Kenji didn't know what he was going to accomplish by coming today. He had called Sasahara-kun the night of the first day Mizutani-san had come home to Yokohama, and the guy had been ecstatic at hearing from him after such a long time. He was so ecstatic, in fact, that he had outright invited Kenji to his mock game. Kenji had refused at first, of course. But then Sasahara-kun threw in the Mizutani-card… And, well… Yeah…

And Kenji ended up saying he would go.

But now, he was thinking why he even bothered calling Sasahara-kun to begin with.

Oh, yeah. It was because he wanted to find out about Haru. How on earth he was going to extract information about was something he didn't quite plan ahead for, though. All of them seemed to have gotten used to Haru's absence. Mizutani-san said, what, she hadn't seen Haru for a year? Did they break up? If they did, who broke up with who?

"Give them hell, Sasayan-kun! _Give! Them! Hell!"_ Natsume cried, her voice ripping through Kenji's subconscious like nails on a chalkboard. The girl was jumping up and down in her place, waving her pompoms around in the air like the freak that she was.

The group of Shouyou supporters at the other side of the bleachers all looked over at them with frightened, uncomfortably shifty eyes. Some of the girls in the group whispered into each other's ears, pointing at Natsume and swallowing nervously. Ooshima-san hid behind her pompoms in embarrassment, muttering to herself about something Kenji couldn't hear.

It did not help when Mabo joined in the cheering. "Yeah! Show those snot-faced losers who's boss!" he shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

Kenji was about to reprimand his friend from saying any more when he was distracted by a strange slurping sound coming from Mizutani-san. She was holding her drink with both hands and tilting it way up to empty everything into her mouth. She put the can down beside her and leaned her elbows on her knees, her attention back once again on the game before her. Sasahara-kun's team was fielding, and so Kenji wondered what it was that made Natsume so psyched when they weren't even batting yet.

Kenji pursed his lips together as he watched Mizutani-san from behind, noticing how she tucked her knuckles into the sleeves of her jersey to keep them warm. From where he was sitting, he could see how long her lashes were, which was crazy because he had never really noticed them before. But then again, he had never really been given the chance to watch her from this angle. Haru had always been around, getting in between them, threatening him to stay away from _'Shizuku'_. Kenji was not used to being able to take liberties at admiring her without her noticing.

And he knew this wasn't good. He was starting to freak himself out. Running a hand through his hair, he pushed himself to stand and kicked Mabo's leg away to pass in front of him. He knew an opportunity when he saw one.

"Ow! Hey, were you going?" Mabo asked, giving Kenji a curious look from over his sunglasses.

Kenji looked down at him, then at Mizutani-san who had also looked over her shoulder at him. "I wanted to get something warm to drink." Then, without missing a beat, he asked, "Who else wants one?"

Natsume instantly narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you paying?"

Kenji sneered at the girl. "Only if you say please."

Natsume gasped in disbelief, then turned her nose away from him. She cupped her pompoms around her mouth and screamed, _"Beat them to a bloody pulp!"_

"I'd like a Hot Yuzu, then," Ooshima-san said as she started to fish into her small tote bag for some change.

"Don't worry about it. I'm buying," Kenji said airily.

Ooshima-san looked up, startled. "Really? That's nice of you."

"I'll have some hot chocolate!" Mabo announced as he propped his legs on the backrest of Natsume's seat. "With them colorful marshmallows sprinkled on top."

"Go die," Kenji said to him, then turned to Iyo. "How about you?"

Iyo jumped in her seat, almost in disbelief that Kenji actually acknowledged her presence. "Uhm, Iyo would like a lemon tea."

Kenji smirked, knowing her order would be that even before she said it. Iyo loved anything lemony for some reason. He turned to Natsume. "And you?"

Natsume flinched but didn't dare look at him. "I-I don't want anything from you."

Kenji shrugged. "If you say so." He let his eyes travel from Natsume to Mizutani-san, who was now eyeing him with interest. "And I would assume you would want something warm and sweet?" he asked slowly.

Mizutani-san blinked at him, then after a while she nodded. "That sounds good."

Natsume hissed at him, and he took that chance to turn around and leave before he lost his cool.

Mizutani-san had accepted an offer of a drink from him. Without condition, or compensation, or consolation. She had always been anal about anything that concerned money, and she had never accepted anything he had offered her before without having him scheme her into thinking that she was not, by any chance, going to owe him anything. It was one of the most annoying things about her, the way she always had to be so… so…

"Yamaken-kun."

Kenji nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Mizutani-san's voice from behind him. He turned just in time to see her hopping down the bleachers and walking towards him. Her hands were in her pockets, and her mouth was hidden behind her muffler. He waited for her to catch up.

"You changed your mind about something hot and sweet?" he asked as she finally reached him.

"No, something sweet sounds great." She looked up at him from under her bangs, and Kenji started to wonder if she had always been this tiny. "I just thought you might need an extra pair of hands to carry them back." Her eyes shifted down to her feet, then back up to his face. "And the vending machines are that way." She pointed to the other direction.

Dammit…

Kenji stuffed his hands into his blazer pockets, trying to make it appear as if he already knew that, which he really didn't but would rather _die _than admit that to her. He jerked his head towards the parking lot. "There's a Starbucks about five minutes away by car downtown. I wanted a caramel macchiato."

Mizutani-san wrinkled her nose, and Kenji could tell she was frowning from under her muffler. "They're expensive."

Kenji sniffed proudly, resuming his walk back to his car with Mizutani-san following behind him. "As if _that _ever mattered to me."

He could have just kicked himself then and there. He didn't know why he always had to turn into a complete idiot when around her.

He opened the door of the passenger's seat, and once again helped her inside. This was her second time riding with him. She didn't look to be reading too much into it. Kenji, on the other hand, had been running things through his head ever since she had come back. So much so he was starting to think that her being back in the city was bad for his health.

He was setting up the coordinates on his car navigation when she suddenly spoke.

"Thank you for seeing me home the other day," she said as she pulled at her seatbelt. "I knew better than to be rude to you like that. I'm sorry."

Kenji could only stare at her with wide eyes, hands poised in mid-swipe at the screen of his navigation device. He had almost forgotten how honest she could be, and how open she was at putting that honesty into words. There had been times before that she had unwittingly led him on with that trait. He didn't know if he was happy or mad that she had not changed at all.

"As if I'd get offended by something so trivial as that," he muttered, dropping his hand on his knee and leaning back in his seat.

"It was still rude of me."

Kenji gave her a one-eyed stare. She was watching him still, her gaze steady. After a few moments he decided that changing the subject was the best resort. "How are you coping?"

That was when she finally turned away from him, and she busied herself with the lint on the cuffs of her jersey sleeve. She shivered involuntarily, and Kenji immediately turned the heater up.

"I've finished all the necessary paperwork. All I need to do now is go see my mother this Tuesday to get her to sign a few documents which I need to submit to the insurance company."

It was such an impersonal answer. Kenji had been hoping for a more… human-like, girly-like response, like, _"I don't think I can take the sadness. Hold me, Yamaken-kun!", _or something like that. But that was just him.

Of course, he wouldn't even dare ask a question that would once again make it look like he was prying, and he didn't think it was proper to keep on asking about her parents' divorce. Haru was most definitely out of the question, so…

Damn it. He couldn't thing of anything to talk about.

And there he was again, trying hard to start a conversation…

"Contrary to what you may think, I'm actually doing all right, Yamaken-kun. You don't have to look so worried," she suddenly said as she returned to watching him at the corner of her eye.

Did he look worried? He was most certainly _not_ worried about her. He smirked at her, hoping to erase the 'worried look' she insisted was on his face. He plucked his glasses from his breast pocket and slipped them on. "And why would _I _have to worry about you?"

She blinked, looked down at her lap, then smiled that small smile of hers. Kenji didn't think it was possible for a smile to make a person look even sadder. "My mother met my father in Uni. Takaya and I never really bothered asking them about their love-life, but I would assume that there was _something_ in my dad that my mom saw that made her fall in love with him. My mother wanted, more than anything else, to be a bride, and so they got married right after graduating. But my dad's an idiot, so he made a loan to start his own store for a reason that was beyond me. At that time, he seemed to have thought that it was a good idea, and so my mom could only agree. My dad wasn't very good with handling business, and the store went under many times, so my mom was forced to work."

Kenji did not understand what had triggered her to suddenly talk about her parents. It was the first time she had even bothered to tell him something this personal about her. It was so personal, actually, that Kenji was having trouble with his reaction. He didn't know if he should be happy because she trusted him with this kind of information, or sad because she was talking about two people who she valued a lot in her life who had decided that they didn't want to be a part of each others' lives anymore. He settled on turning his face towards her without meeting her gaze, settling on watching the monitor of his navigation system.

"My mother had always been smart, and she was very confident with herself," she continued, the fingers plucking at the lint on her sleeve never stopping. "She left when I was still pretty young to work in a law firm in Tokyo. She had always been busy, and I only got to see her in rare occasions, like my birthday, or new years' day. There had been many times when she couldn't even make it home during those occasions, but I understood. Takaya understood. At first, I ended up getting my hopes up only to get disappointed when she broke her promise of seeing us, but I guess people get used to those things after a few years."

Kenji furrowed his brow. There had been a time back in high school when he had talked with Mizutani-san about expectations. She had not been very good with them, and had tried to push a lot of people away because she was afraid of getting disappointed. Was this the reason behind her fear back then? "She did it for her family. She did it for you," he said quietly, not sure why he wanted to say something that could comfort her.

She nodded slowly. "I knew that. I thought she was great, and I wanted to be like her so much. I grew up to thinking, _'I want to start working soon, like my mom,'_ and I just used that as some sort of compass to get through high school. I studied hard to get good grades to make that as an excuse to call my mom and tell her I got a hundred in math. Somewhere along the way, I found some sort of peace of mind in studying. I study, I got good grades. That was all that mattered."

Kenji raised his eyebrows at her. She had always been the Study Bug to him and his _'friends'_. She was always that girl walking around with her nose in a book who didn't know how to empathize with the people around her who considered her dear to them. "You've always been intellectually gifted. I don't even know why you had to try too hard and consider anything academic to be some sort of contest."

That made her look up at him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. She was like that for about three seconds before she relaxed back into her seat, looking out the car's window almost wistfully. "I wasn't intellectually gifted. I was just a wee bit more diligent than everyone. I had to study twice as hard as everyone else to get the highest grade in our batch, while… " she paused, then said, "While others breeze through examinations without cracking a book."

They were back to that subject again. It always came back to that anyway.

Mizutani-san turned to face him again. "Haru was a genius. He was just… born smart, I guess."

Kenji knew this all too well. He had, after all, shared his earlier Kaimei days bullying Haru because he got better grades and because others thought he was cuter. He sighed. Insecurity was a scary, scary thing. He crossed his arms over his chest. "So what if he was a genius? We normal people get by just _fine_ with pure diligence." The words were out of his mouth before he realized he had just said something that made him sound like he was sour-graping.

He felt slightly glad when she grinned, her eyes crinkling at the edges prettily. "I guess you're right."

And they were silent. Kenji began tapping his fingers on the wheel nervously. The conversation had stopped in such an awkward way. He considered driving away downtown, grab their friends' orders and be once again surrounded by other people. That was until Mizutani-san started talking again.

"When I asked my mother why she and dad decided to end it, she said to me, _'It's because your father loves his freedom'_. And for some weird, weird reason, I understood what she felt."

Kenji chewed on the insides of his cheeks as he waited for her to continue, though deep down he sort of knew what she was going to say.

She said it anyway. "Haru… also loved his freedom."

And there it was, right in the open. The goddamn elephant in the room.

Kenji sighed again. "Did he break up with you?"

Mizutani-san scoffed, temporarily looking insulted. "Of course not. Don't be stupid."

Kenji felt an angry vein pop on his temple. "Oh, _excuse_ me."

She rubbed her eyes, looking tired, the proud expression on her face dissolving quickly. "I knew it was coming. Because Haru was Haru, and I was… "

God, he hoped she wasn't going to burst into tears. His hand twitched, and he had to stop himself from reaching into his pocket for his handkerchief.

"I broke up with him a year ago. Not because he wasn't able to live up to my expectations, but because _I _wasn't able to live up to _my _expectations. And he was always a step ahead of me even after I've done everything I could, and all the while he had done nothing but _breathe_ and still be perfect at it."

She was talking in riddles, giving him clues, hints of what happened between them only to find out that she wasn't going to elaborate. So it was she who had ended everything between them. And again with the expectation. Why was she so fixated with expectations, anyway?

It wasn't as if he was completely oblivious of what she was feeling; Haru had always been the idiot disguised as a genius and sometimes the other way around. He did not blame Mizutani-san for having ended it, and was in fact quite surprised that it lasted that long. He had always thought them to be such an odd, mismatched couple. He had seen how she felt confused, lost and frustrated at the times before and during her relationship with Haru, and it was kind of annoying – and strangely satisfying – to see that she was still as confused, lost and frustrated even now.

_If it were me, I would have treated you far better. _

The thought came and went, leaving Kenji feeling like a horrible, horrible person. To redeem himself in front of his conscience, he said to her, "I'm sure that you thought things through before you made the decision. You're not the type of person to make finalities without weighing everything in, because I know how you don't like regretting things."

She stopped rubbing her eyes, but kept her knuckles in place to hide her face from him. "Don't get me wrong. When I decided to go out with Haru, my feelings had been genuine. And at that time I can easily say I didn't have any regrets. I was happy, and he was happy. But I guess… " She sniffed. Oh, shit. Was she crying? "I guess the rose-tinted veil of romance just fades away when you grow up."

Kenji grimaced, almost too afraid to ask. "What happened between you two?"

"_Life _happened," she said plainly. "And Haru was just _free_. But there's just no security in freedom. And all the giggly, heart-wrenching feelings of a first love just looked too bland in comparison to everything else after high school."

Again with the riddles, with the vague hints that could mean one thing or another depending on how one perceived it. At one point, Kenji wondered if she was still talking about her and Haru, or her mom and dad.

Kenji did not know what made him reach out, grab her wrist gently and pulled her hand away from her face. She was not crying, thank goodness, but she looked like she was about to. She had been jumping from one topic to another since they had sat in his car, and Kenji had a feeling that the thin line between those topics was getting thinner the more she talked. "You broke up with Haru because you thought that you're just going to end up like your parents, didn't you?" he asked bluntly, letting go of her wrist and letting his hand brush back a lock of her hair behind her ear.

She took in a shaky breath, exhaled slowly. "It wasn't until they finally made it legal did I realize that I did to Haru a year ago exactly what my mother did to my dad. It's crazy, because I just realized it a year later that I am just like my mother, and all this time I've tried my hardest to be like her only to discover that I don't think that's the kind of person I want to be in the future."

Oh, geez… Kenji gritted his teeth. "You decided to quit Pre-Law because you realized you don't want to be like your _mother?_ Is that the reason why you came back?" he asked incredulously. "But you've invested too much on this. All your life, you've studied, like you said, twice as hard as everyone else, just to get into Todai. You can still be a lawyer and be _you, _you know. This is what you've always wanted."

She eyed Kenji's hand still lingering near her face and she shifted in her seat, putting a bit of distance between them. Kenji took this as a cue to back off. He had both his hands planted on the wheel, looking ahead. It was like she had raised her invisible barrier again, and Kenji could feel everything go cold inside the car despite the heater.

In the rearview mirror, he saw Mabo suddenly emerge from the double doors of the stadium, looking left, then right, as if searching for something. He looked absolutely ridiculous in his overly large sunglasses and fur coat. It was obvious he was there to snoop as to why they were taking so long. Without thinking, Kenji put the car into drive and pulled out of the parking area just in time before Mabo made a run towards them, screaming something he couldn't understand.

Mizutani-san was surprised at his sudden take-off, and she hurriedly strapped herself with her seatbelt. "You could have said something before zooming off like that."

"Sorry," Kenji muttered as he absently searched for the nearest Starbucks in his navigation system with one hand. "I'll be careful next time." He nearly kicked himself for implying that there would be a next time.

He jumped when he felt his phone vibrate in his breast pocket. Someone was calling him. Cursing, he slipped it out, looked at the screen to see who it was and handed it to Mizutani-san. "I have my hands full. It's Mabo. Can you take this call for me?"

Mizutani-san reached out and took his phone from him. "I just swipe at it here, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Uhm, hello?" Mizutani-san looked from Kenji to road in front of them. "He's driving right now… Yes… No… We'll be back soon... Who's winning…? Really…? That's unexpected… Okay… Okay, I'll let him know." And she held the phone at arms' length to look at it in bewilderment.

Kenji felt sweat pop on his forehead. "What did he say?"

Mizutani-san slipped the phone back into Kenji's breast pocket, then said, "He said, _'Don't forget my fucking marshmallows.'_"

Kenji's eye twitched in irritation. For the umpteenth time that day, he wished he had taken Tomio or George instead.


	3. Chapter 3

**III**

* * *

November rolled in with the chill Yokohama winters brought and Yamaguchi Kenji was left in a daze brought about by Mizutani-san, Haru and their mysterious breakup. He was not the type of guy to lose sleep over women, but he had already resigned to the fact that Mizutani Shizuku was the one and only exception to that rule.

Well, not that he had been _losing sleep _or anything stupid like that. Sure, there had been two or three times when he had come in ten minutes late for his morning classes, but he was convinced that this was because he was tired with the papers he had been working on, and his tardiness had absolutely no connection _whatsoever _to the hours he'd spent tossing and turning in bed because thoughts about Mizutani-san kept on popping in his subconscious like unwanted mushrooms.

No, absolutely not.

"Absolutely _not_," Kenji said out loud as he punctuated his sentence with his ball-point pen with a vengeance that he accidentally punched a hole into the page of his notebook.

It was a Saturday, and while Kenji mostly spent his Saturdays in the hospital to take advantage of his father's little library, today he just couldn't get himself out of bed and psyche himself up to get dressed.

It had been two weeks since he had seen her. And he did not understand why he was being too grumpy about it. He had breezed through his classes like a zombie, and while he eventually got into the groove of things in the later parts of the week, his professors had been worried about him that some even came as far as asking if something was bothering him. He had told them no, and that he was sorry for making them worry. They believed him, told him that if he needed someone to listen, they were always willing to help.

Naturally, Kenji hadn't been especially thrilled to know that people were starting to notice. Over dinner, Iyo had been giving him quick glances that she probably thought had gone unnoticed, but really hadn't because nothing Iyo ever did go unnoticed by Kenji. He knew that Iyo was thinking his behavior to be quite queer, and the fact that he didn't have an appetite even when lamb was served for dinner had been a dead giveaway. That, and probably the fact that he had stopped going out on evenings during the weekends to drag around a random girl who happened to want to hang out with him.

Of course, Iyo said nothing; Kenji wouldn't have had it any other way.

In the span of two weeks without seeing Mizutani-san, Mabo, George and Tomio had been annoyingly nosy with his private affairs, and he knew it was because Mabo had told the other two that Mizutani Shizuku was back in town. Those three had always been in his case when it came to the Study Bug, and Kenji guessed that two years hadn't quenched their curiosity about Kenji's feelings towards her. He couldn't blame them. He always had the tendency to transform into an utter fool when it came to things involving Mizutani-san. He just didn't want to admit to himself that there was the very big possibility of him still liking her. And the mere fact that he had actually acknowledged that possibility was not doing him – or his mood – any good.

If only he knew the reason behind their break-up. He was convinced that this alone could bring him a bit of peace of mind. Unfortunately, Mizutani-san had disclosed nothing but riddles that time when they had watched Sasahara-kun's game. And that had been the last he had seen of her.

That day after the game, when they had returned to everyone with cardboard trays of hot drinks, he had planned on asking her out to lunch. But because Mabo had ridden with him to the stadium and Natsume had stuck to Mizutani-san's side like a fifth appendage, he had given up on the thought altogether. It was only later that day did he realize that he could have just abandoned Mabo altogether, and that Sasahara-kun would have whisked Natsume away to lunch anyway.

He couldn't believe why he never got things right when it came to her. Always the wrong decisions. Always wanting to look nonchalant and cool and always ending up doing the exact opposite of it. The only thing he was grateful for was that fact that Mizutani-san was too dense to notice that Kenji was making a complete fool of himself. At first, he had always thought it was because of Haru that he acted like a child. In the end, he had realized that it was because of Mizutani-san, and that there still remained the fact that he was too immature to admit it to himself that… well…

Kenji shook his head, rubbed the bridge of his nose from under his glasses. This wasn't good. This wasn't the time to think about girls. Right now, he should be wrapping his brain around virology. _Virology_.

This wasn't working at all. He needed a break.

He pushed back his chair, dropped his pen and glasses on his desk and made his way out of his room and down the long marble staircase to the kitchen.

He found Iyo poking her head in the fridge. She was still in her pajamas. The fact that it was already past noon and she was still in her sleepwear irked Kenji to no end. A few seconds later, she emerged from the fridge with a cucumber in one hand and a lemon in another. She had her headphones on, the wire trailing down to her back pocket where her music player was tucked safely.

Kenji watched her dance around the kitchen while humming to herself. On the island counter sat a glass pitcher filled with sliced oranges and mint leaves submerged in ice-water. She cut up the lemon and cucumber clumsily with a ceramic knife and added them into the pitcher. Kenji watched her from the door, unnoticed, and asked himself for the thousandth time how Iyo had ended up the way she had turned out. When they were younger, she hadn't always been this… _eccentric_.

It was in middle school when she had started to crave for attention from the people around her. From him. From their parents. He had hoped that it was just some phase, that it would go away when she entered high school. Much to his dismay, it had only gotten worse when she found out that all the seniors in Shouyou thought that she was the cutest freshman to enter that year, and even more so when she had developed that stupid crush on Haru.

Iyo nearly jumped out of her skin when she finally realized that he was there. She knocked her headphones down to her neck and she backed away against the sink, looking like some trapped animal.

Kenji walked into the kitchen towards the fridge and got himself a bottle of mineral water.

"I-I-Iyo was just making a h-h-healthy drink!" his sister suddenly blurted. Lately, she had been trying to give explanations to whatever it was she was doing even before Kenji could do or say anything.

Kenji didn't understand how things between them got so… awkward. Well, maybe not awkward. Maybe more like… unpleasant? Uneasy? _Unbearable? _He sighed as he took a drink of his water and, without saying anything to Iyo, made his way back up to his room. He could hear Iyo sputtering something after him, but he decided to ignore it. Nothing his sister ever said made any sense to him lately, anyway.

When he got back to his desk, he was surprised to find a mail waiting for him on his mobile phone. It was from Joujima Issei – or George, so everyone liked to call him – and like all of George's mails, this one was short too.

'_Help,' _it said.

Kenji stared at the four-letter word with bored eyes. Help? With what?

He glanced at the small calendar he had perched on the edge of his desk. A Saturday. George was taking up a course on Japanese Culture at the same college Tomio was attending, and he had taken up a voluntary job at the public library on weekends. Saturdays, Sundays and Japanese holidays found the library open until noon, and George closed up right around one in the afternoon. Kenji stared at the clock. Two-fifteen.

'_Help with what?' _he replied as he took his seat behind his desk and took another swig of his water. George's reply came almost instantly in a form of an attachment that almost made Kenji spew his drink all over the place.

It was a picture of Mizutani Shizuku sleeping on one of the desks by the window of the library, several books open in front of her. She had on another unbelievably unflattering flower-patterned skirt that Kenji swore he had seen on one of the stores that sold curtains, and a knit top that could have easily been on a rack in a supermarket.

Kenji felt all the blood in his whole body rush to his head, one, in embarrassment that Mizutani-san looked absolutely _appealing _to him with her head knocked to the side and her mouth slightly open to reveal fine, straight teeth. And two, in anger that George was arbitrarily taking pictures of her candidly. He did not know where the latter feeling even came from. It wasn't as if he was ever possessive of anything with regards to Mizutani Shizuku. But his three idiot friends had taken a liking to taking pictures of her when she looked… _pretty_. She looked pretty in the picture now.

He hadn't noticed he was looking at the picture dumbly until George sent another message to him, saying, _'She won't leave.'_

Now in all honesty, Kenji did not understand what George wanted him to do about it. So Mizutani-san had fallen asleep in the library. So George couldn't close the library because she was using it to nap. So _fucking _what? He felt hot in the face, and he wiped his mouth with his free hand nervously.

'_Fuck you,' _was Kenji's reply to him.

'_I want go home,' _came George's comeback.

'_Wake her up yourself,' _Kenji shot back.

George didn't return a text after that, and for a few minutes, Kenji waited nervously with bated breath. He was staring so hard at his phone that he was afraid he was going to break it with his will alone. Moments passed, and no text came. He could only assume that George had woken up Mizutani-san by himself and had driven her away to close up.

He sighed and put the phone down, leaning back into his chair, the energy in him leaving almost instantly. He could still see Mizutani-san's sleeping face in his brain, as if imprinted in the back of his mind's eye. It was rare to find her sleeping on her work. He wondered about all the books she had spread in front of her on that library table. She had no more classes to attend to, no more homework, no more papers to submit. Yet there she was, cracking open books on a Saturday.

Kenji stared down at his own desk, the words on his virology book making no sense to him at the moment. He made to pick up his reading glasses, then almost fell off his chair when his phone rang, alerting him of a text message. He nearly pounced at his mobile phone. He knew it would be George.

'_I can't wake her up.'_

Kenji blinked at his phone. He felt the annoyance building inside him. _'Why not?'_

'_I'm shuttle.'_

Kenji felt his left eye twitch irritably.

'_Sorry, autocorrect. I meant I'm shy.'_

Kenji's urge to kill was… rising. _Rising_…

He stood up abruptly, knocking his chair back. He pulled out a random coat from his closet, threw it on and wrapped a muffler around his neck without care. He did not understand why George even sought help from him, of all people. Well, given George did not have many friends, and aside from Tomio and Mabo, Kenji's number was probably the only other one George had saved in his phone.

That was all well and good. What Kenji couldn't muster was the very teeny, tiny spark of joy he was feeling deep in his gut because of this very rare opportunity for him to once again see Mizutani Shizuku without openly initiating it. He grabbed his keys from the dish bowl on top of his bedside table and hurried down the stairs. He looked over his shoulder when he heard something from the kitchen. Iyo was still in there, and she was singing. Kenji sighed again before setting off for his car in the driveway.

The public library was a good twenty minutes away by car from his neighborhood, and that included the times when his GPS would act up and he would miss a right turn downtown when the signal would lag and it would take several streets before the stupid thing finally got back into course. As expected, the library's parking lot was empty.

It was almost three by the time he pushed the double doors of the squat building that led into the fairly huge main chamber of the library. He had been in the place several times before, all those times were when his teachers wanted them to look for reference materials that they couldn't buy in bookstores. All those times, he had gotten lost in the maze of shelves, unsure of how things could be so hard to find even when he knew the books were arranged in categories and in alphabetical order. Of course, he knew for a fact that him finding things in the library with great difficulty was not his fault. Definitely _not _his fault.

When he reached the check-out counter, George was nowhere to be found. Kenji looked around him, hoping to see the guy lurking anywhere nearby but was slightly disappointed when he found that he was alone. He rang the bell twice to call for him, the sound echoing in the room's high ceiling the way they usually do when you know there wasn't anyone else around but you.

Kenji shrugged off his coat and muffler, dumping them on top of the counter and pocketing his car keys. The old, worn-out carpet muffled the sounds of his footsteps as he made his way slowly further inside the room that housed the many, many long wooden desks set in straight lines parallel to the shelves surrounding them. He looked left, then right, expecting George to come out of the shadows and wordlessly gesture for him to do something about the predicament he was stuck in.

Unfortunately, George was still nowhere to be seen.

But Mizutani-san was, unmistakably, there.

She was still on the desk by the window, just like in the picture George sent him. She did not look like she had moved an inch since George had taken a shot of her. Kenji let his eyes trail on the scattered books surrounding the head she had lowered onto her arms. He noticed that she still had her muffler on even though she was indoors, and a heavy coat was draped on the seat next to her, along with a tote bag and knit gloves.

Kenji slowly approached her, unaware that he had suddenly started holding his breath and his hands were clenching and unclenching into fists for some reason. He couldn't believe George had put him up for this. How was he supposed to wake her up, anyway?

He stopped a few feet away from her, swallowing hard as he loomed over her sleeping form. Her breathing was deep and even, her brown hair draped over her folded arms, splaying over a few loose sheets of paper she had under her cheek. There could easily be a dozen or so books on her table, and Kenji saw that they were all about business and economics.

Kenji narrowed his eyes. Back in high school, Mizutani-san had been quite partial about her calculus, and while he had always beaten her when it came to English, he knew that she was a genius when it came to mathematics. He had seen her a few times showing interest on business books, which he had always thought had something to do with her father's business, but having her concentrate on in so much that she'd end up falling asleep over her work was a first to him.

Kenji gingerly flipped the page of the open book nearest to him. Accounting. The one next to it was a closed book titled 'Marketing for Beginners'.

_She came back for her dad. She came back for her brother. And now, she was completely abandoning her dream of becoming a lawyer to be… something else._

Kenji narrowed his eyes at the sleeping girl in front of him, then poked her gently on the shoulder. "Mizutani-san. Wake up."

She murmured something incoherent under her breath, shifted in her place, then stopped moving altogether.

Kenji poked her again, this time a bit harder. "The library's closing. Get up. I'll help you return the books back in their shelves."

She snorted. Then she began to snore.

Kenji felt his teeth grind against each other noisily. He looked up when he heard someone moving behind him and he saw George entering the room with a broom in his hands. He dropped it when he saw Kenji was already there.

Kenji couldn't see George's eyes from under those dark glasses of his, but he could tell he was shifting his gaze from the fallen broom to Mizutani-san.

Kenji bared his teeth at him. "Don't tell me you're planning to poke her with _that._"

George wordlessly kicked the broom under a shelf, raised his hands in front of him innocently. Kenji wished he'd just talked, like a normal human being.

Kenji could only groan, shaking his head in disbelief. "Look. Just… get out of here. Leave the key. I'll take care of things here and drop the key in your mailbox later tonight."

George practically glowed in happiness, and without hesitation, he shuffled over to Kenji and pressed a set of keys in his hand. He bowed profusely, scratching the back of his head before practically running out of the room without looking back.

Kenji looked down at the keys in his hand, then cursed under his breath before turning back to the sleeping girl on the desk. Maybe he did need a broom to poke her awake. He looked at the shelf where George had knocked the broom into, honestly considering fishing it out to use it on her. He decided against it, and instead bent over, bringing his mouth near her exposed ear and whispered, "Who was the first samurai to unify Japan?"

And like clockwork, Mizutani-san suddenly catapulted to a sitting position and gasped, "Oda Nobunaga!"

Kenji's eyebrows climbed his forehead, impressed at her reflex to answer basic trivia regarding history. What was more amusing about this setting was that she had a piece of loose notebook paper sticking to the side of her face she had pressed against the table. For a brief moment, her eyes stared straight ahead, wide and unblinking, before she tore the paper off her cheek and turned to look at Kenji with a bewildered gaze.

"Good morning," Kenji said dryly as he straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest. "I hope you don't intend to spend the night here."

Mizutani-san stared at the paper that had been sticking to her face, slowly placed it back on the table then blinked. "Huh?" she said intelligently.

"You're in the library, which closed about three hours ago."

It seemed like she still could not process what he was saying. She kept on staring at him. He stared back.

"Yamaken-kun?" she finally said.

Kenji took a deep breath, let it out slow, then he started to pick up the books she had on the desk, stacking them neatly together. "It's time to go."

She watched him as he cleaned up with nimble hands, then as if in an afterthought, she asked, "What are you doing here?"

Kenji paused for a second before resuming his cleaning. "I'd like to ask myself the same thing." He chewed on his bottom lip, unsure of what to say to her. She didn't look like she knew what to say to him, either. He tucked the books under one arm. "Are you checking these out? Or do we have to put them back up the shelves?"

Mizutani-san glanced at her watch, then finally started stuffing her pencil case and notebooks inside her tote bag. "I've checked them out already. I'm taking them with me." She shrugged on her coat and slipped on her gloves. "I can't believe I fell asleep."

Kenji waited for her to leave her seat and the both of them made their way back to the check-out counter, where he had left his own coat and muffler. In the corner of his eye he could see her trying to fix her bangs, which was standing on end weirdly on the right side of her forehead.

When she saw him fiddling with the light and heater switches from behind the counter, she finally asked him, "Are you a volunteer here?"

Kenji scoffed after finishing up with everything. "A volunteer? _Me? _And what the hell made you think that I'd be volunteering for such a boring job?"

Mizutani-san shrugged. "Well, you're here right now, so… "

"George, you know him, right? He's the volunteer. He was supposed to close the library at twelve noon, but couldn't because you've taken residence on that desk, and he was too much of a sissy to wake you up."

She frowned, trying to match a face with the name. "George…? George… Oh, the guy who doesn't talk at all, right? The one in the sunglasses?"

Kenji rolled his eyes. "I'll have you know that I was in the middle of studying when he sent me a text message, begging me to come and wake you up."

The frown on her face deepened. "He should have woken me persoally if he needed to close up."

"George doesn't talk. Much. He was kind of intimidated by you." Of course George never really said that. But Kenji could only assume that Mizutani-san had always been a very difficult existence to deal with ever since they were in high school.

"Hm," Mizutani-san said, then added, "I'm really sorry I bothered you in the middle of your studying, Yamaken-kun. Here, let me have the books." She extended her hands out to him.

Kenji stared down at her as he hitched the books under his arm again. He was once again surprised at how small she was. Or maybe he had just gotten taller? He didn't know. He turned his nose away from her and walked away towards the exit. "Let me take you home. I have my car with me."

He could hear her hurrying after him. "Ah, about that..."

Kenji opened the door for her, and she scuttled out first, looking like a child in her thick coat and muffler. He followed after her, locked up with the keys George had lent him, and stuffed the keys into the pocket of his coat. "Hn?" he asked as he led her back to the car.

"I'm not going home tonight."

Kenji stopped in his tracks. He turned to her. "What?"

Now she started to look really uncomfortable. "I'm not going home tonight."

Kenji waited for her to elaborate. She didn't look like she was about to do so. He resumed the walk towards the car, opened the passenger side door for her and she climbed in. He shut the door and watched her from the window, his mind spinning. Not going home? _Not going home? _

Okay…?

He dumped her borrowed books at the backseat, then circled around and took his place behind the wheel. For a few moments he just stared straight ahead, asking himself why he always seemed to be in these kinds of situations when it came to her. Lately, she had done nothing but boggle him with the happenings in her life. Dropping out of Pre-Law. Parents divorcing. Now what? Running away from home?

He turned to face her. She was examining her nails with mild interest. "Explain," he commanded.

She looked up from her nails. "Explain what?"

"Why the hell you're not going home. Geez."

She shrugged. "Ah… it's nothing."

Kenji could not believe her. He tapped the wheel with his fingers noisily, trying to calm himself down. After a while, he turned back towards her again. "Oh. So what, you want me to drop you off to the place you're planning to stay for the night, then?" he asked sarcastically.

She grinned, as if finding some kind of humor Kenji was not catching onto. "Ah. I haven't thought about that yet."

Kenji blinked.

She turned away.

"_What?" _he snapped.

She sneezed, and Kenji hurriedly gunned the engine and turned up the heater. Why, oh, why did it have to be like this all of a sudden? Of all the things, of all the people… Why…?

"My dad and I had a fight," she suddenly said, wiping her nose with her gloved hand. "We always fight when things with his business don't go well, but with the stress after, you know, the divorce and all… things got pretty nasty, and we kind of said things to each other we didn't really mean but nonetheless hurt, and… well… I just thought it would be better if we didn't see each other for a while."

Kenji did not like this. He was not really sure how her relationship with her father was before everything started to collapse around their family, but judging from the way she was talking, this was probably the first time they had fought badly enough for her to consider not coming home.

But where on earth was she planning to stay? Over a friend? Did she have friends other than Natsume? But Natsume was in Kawasaki. And that was about forty minutes away by train. He leaned back on his seat. "What would Takaya say?"

Her brow furrowed, then she said, "He was there when we were fighting. He was as stoic as ever, and he just watched us scream at each other like a couple of kids."

Kenji rubbed his face, unsure of what to say to her. He didn't dare ask, and if it were up to him, he would have preferred that he didn't know. For some reason, she started enlightening him about what had unfolded in the Mizutani household last night.

"The business went under. Again." She scratched at her forehead, making the chunk of her bangs standing on end stand up even worse. "I told him that maybe it was just time to let it go. He didn't want to. I told him I was sick of picking up the pieces every time he messed up. He told me that if I was sick of it, then I should have stayed with my mother. And this led to that. And, well… "

Kenji looked over his shoulder at the books she had checked out of the library. Considering she had let out nasty words to her father about being _'sick of picking up the pieces'_, here she was, so very much intent on absorbing as much knowledge she could get about businesses.

He sighed. "We say things we don't mean when we're stressed. I'm sure your dad understands."

"Maybe." She looked down at her hands again. "But I don't like it when we fight. Not in front of Takaya. I need to calm down before I go home. I need more time. My dad needs time."

"Who will feed your chicken?" Kenji asked desperately at last shot at convincing her to go home.

"I left a whole cabbage in his pen along with his water bowl and his usual feed. He'll be fine for a few days."

A few days? How long was she planning to stay away, anyway?

Kenji didn't understand her. He had always thought her to be quite practical and level-headed. Two years had changed her a lot. The events of the past few weeks were taking their toll on her, and for the love of him, he wanted to support her.

"Have you eaten lunch?" he asked quietly, for once not caring that it was he who was inviting her, and that there was very big chance that she would reject him.

She shook her head.

Kenji took a breath, let it out in a huff. "There's this restaurant downtown. It's cozy, and…" He took another breath, then continued, "They serve great pasta. The garlic bread is wonderful. And they make great tasting cappuccino."

Mizutani-san was watching him again. For a brief moment, Kenji allowed himself to look at her while willing himself not to blush. She smiled at him, and he felt his face heat up anyway. "Pasta sounds wonderful."

Kenji paused, blinked. She had accepted his offer to have a meal with him. He was starting to believe that he was getting pretty lucky without striking out when it came to invitations and offers to her. She had changed. And he did not know if he liked the change or not. He started setting the restaurant's coordinates on his GPS with shaky fingers, and they were on the road a few minutes later.

They drove in silence, with Mizutani-san looking outside the window, sometimes letting out a sneeze, sometimes clearing her throat. Kenji took this advantage to watch her when he was waiting for the red light to turn green. She was fiddling with her seatbelt with her slender fingers, sometimes plucking at the lint on her tasteless flower-patterned skirt. Her profile was hard to ignore. Her lashes were casting gentle shadows on her cheeks, and her long hair was brushed back over her right shoulder.

Why did she look this beautiful to him, anyway?

He stopped at another red, and he gripped the stirring wheel with both hands when a thought so crazy suddenly entered his head. "Mizutani-san."

She looked over at him. "Hn?"

Kenji swallowed, diverted his eyes for a brief second then returned them at once to meet her gaze. "If you want – only if you want to – you can stay at my place. The guest rooms are all open for use. And Iyo's there, too."

Her eyes widened at him, and in an instant he realized he had pushed his luck. The light turned green, and he proceeded down the road, feeling like a total loser.

That was until she asked, "Are you sure your parents won't mind?"

He nearly had a heart attack then and there, and it took everything he had to keep his eyes on the road. Did this mean she was… _considering?_

Kenji swallowed. "They won't mind. They'd love to have you." Then, to keep it safe, and to save whatever pride he had left, he added, "And Iyo would be over the moon about it."

And she smiled.

No. She wasn't simply considering. She was taking up his offer. Again.

"I'd appreciate it," she said, and much to Kenji's horror, she reached out to touch his shoulder gently, her fingers grazing the sleeve of his coat, making him wince. "Thank you."

He cleared his throat, ignoring the cold sweat that had popped on his forehead. He let out a nonchalant laugh. "What else can you expect from me? You know I'm awesome that way."

He was such a loser.


End file.
